Imagine you are walking along and reach a fork in the road of life. Straight ahead you can head toward a place called “Hope Highway” where the people all work together with a common goal to prepare and enable a better future for the next generations. They are restless but they all have a distinct sense of purpose which gives them meaning.
To the left you can head toward “Peaceful Peninsula” where the people calmly meditate and become one with the world around them, present in the now. There is no conflict but there is also no change, everyone feels secure and safe.
To the right you can head toward “Vulnerability Valley” where the people are constantly in a state of change, trying new things, learning, and being open with one another. There is sorrow when people fail at a venture or are hurt by each other; but there is also great joy when they succeed or form strong bonds with others who come to really know them.
Which way would you go? Answering this question is to tell us how we want to live our lives and understand what we believe our life’s purpose to be. I’ll offer why we may or may not choose a certain path; but then I’ll offer a way to have all. I think that there is a way to connect these three states of being together to find and experience true love for ourselves, our family, and humanity.
Be Hopeful
To hope is to believe there is purpose, meaning, and a direction forward to a better place. To hope is to embrace time and welcome its positive advancement. We can choose to be hopeful in any moment, which encourages us to find how every experience we have contributes toward the better future we seek for humanity.
You must recognize our place today in that journey forward. You can venture too far into a hopeful state that risks blinding us from the fact that our actions must contribute toward that future we hope for. And to act is to take a risk and therefore become vulnerable. Hoping for a better future and trusting it will come is not enough. We must act to enable it by putting ourselves in new and uncomfortable positions to make progress for ourselves and humanity.
Be Vulnerable
Vulnerability enables us to learn new things for ourselves and form stronger bonds with others. If you’re comfortable with a task or in a situation you’re much less likely to learn from that experience. If you allow yourself to openly share your emotions and reasons for them, it becomes more likely for someone else to reciprocate that sharing. This leads to trust between two people, a reassuring feeling of being seen by another, and a sense of belonging.
To be vulnerable is to take risk by doing something novel. It may fail, but even if it does, we, and others, will have learned from the experience. To be vulnerable is to allow ourselves to potentially get hurt or disappointed in order to learn, connect, and drive change in ourselves and others.
You must remember to reflect on what you’ve gained from your vulnerability to ensure you don’t become overwhelmed by sorrow and disappointment. You can’t become disillusioned from the pain you’ll feel, which requires your commitment to embrace that state of change, learning, progress, and connection. And that commitment requires you to find peace even among the sea of change you are enabling.
Be Peaceful
To be peaceful is to find connection between yourself and the world around you. To be peaceful is to become one with the past, present, and future. With the understanding of our interconnection, we see the reciprocity in life that calms us by demonstrating our belonging in this world. Seek out that connection to experience a calming sense of trust.
But don’t lose sight of your life’s purpose that will require action to enable. Sitting and doing nothing, yields nothing. If we combine peacefulness with hope we can recognize that life isn’t a meaningless repeating circle; but rather it is a sinusoidal journey forward we all experience together.
Be Loving by Finding Connection
Love for ourselves, our family, and humanity connects these three states of being: hope, peace, and vulnerability. To love is to connect with others through our vulnerability, it is to give them a sense of belonging through our peacefulness, and it is to work collaboratively together in our hope for where we will get to as an aligned community.
To love is not only to find connection between hope, peace, and vulnerability. To love is to find connection between the past, present, and future and to love this journey we are on together. When we love we dive headfirst into a flowing river and find fulfillment with where we are in that river of fluid which connects us across time and space.
Going back to the analogy of a fork in the road of life between Hope Highway, Vulnerability Valley, and Peaceful Peninsula, there is also “Love Loop” that I choose to live in. Love connects peace and hope by giving us trust that we are going in the right direction, and doing it together. Love connects hope and vulnerability by driving measurable progress forward through the state of change and learning we enable when vulnerable. And hope provides the direction to give meaning to that change which love lets us see. Love connects vulnerability and peace by giving us the strength and resolve to stay committed when faced with pain and sorrow.
To love is to be human and find fulfillment in life. Love yourself, love your family, and love humanity to find joy in our shared journey of life.
So What, How Does this Help Me?
This insight I’ve found is meaningless if it just stays as words on a page. But I know these words will inspire me to act and make decisions because of this insight I’ve gained. I’ve had three epiphanies:
- We have control over our perspective. These are mental states we can choose to be in or out of.
- It isn’t a zero sum game. We don’t need to choose one or the other, we can find ways to be in multiple and all states simultaneously.
- Finding that connection between states is precisely the point of life. When we discover how to live in a way that aligns hope, vulnerability, and peace together, we have found a way to live with love. We have found a way to be one with all, yet be our unique self at the same time.
I found myself ~6 months ago in turmoil because I envisioned a better future for humanity; but I didn’t see how I was doing enough to enable it. I didn’t see a path I could walk down for myself that simultaneously benefits my family and humanity. I sought clarity on the steps I needed to take along that path. I sought peace because I sensed my inner turmoil spilling out and negatively affecting those around me who I love.
As I searched for peace I ended up discovering that peace isn’t a singular state I seek. I needed to find connection between peace and the hope I have for the future. But that wasn’t enough. I also needed to have the epiphany that I simultaneously require vulnerability in order to actually make progress.
Once I discovered that these states of being are all a choice I can make, I started finding the peace I sought. I can choose to be hopeful, peaceful, and vulnerable all at the same time. I just need to find meaning, believe that I am in the place I need to be, and then act accordingly to move myself and others forward. I don’t need to see the evidence for a step-function change in the world today that I enabled. I need to trust that I am changing the world by simply existing, connecting with others, and looking forward with excitement as to where we’ll go together.
The last, and possibly the most meaningful discovery I had was that balance is not the same as connection. It isn’t balance that I seek. It’s connection. I’ll know true enduring love when I discover how being present actually enables being more forward looking while respecting the past. Balance implies there is opposition between these perspectives of time and these states of being; when in fact, they work together collaboratively as one. And when I can see that connection, is when I can see life’s purpose.
I can start my day by reflecting on what I hope for, asking what I’m doing today to make progress, and trusting I am who I’m meant to be. I am a man in an enduring state of love. I love you!
hanly hopes 
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